Hi, Rob. I've missed you. I need to get the word out to my other reader that I'm Back.

Part of my "exit package" included career counseling, which, truly, is pretty cool. Because I've only had one job in my life and I have NEVER had to look for another job, I wouldn't even know where to start.

Career Counseling is a fabulous untapped business opportunity, kiddilies. Seriously. What could be better than losing your job and then starting up a company to help other people who have lost their jobs? (I'm not kidding; most of the people who work there either (1) started the company after being "downsized", "laid off", or "whatever"; or (2) were recruited when they, themselves, were looking for work.)

Ingenious.

All cynicism aside, it is a good thing.

Today I attended my first two classes, after filling out 3 assessment tests, which are supposed to Help One Figure Out What One Wants To Be When One Grows Up (or lose their job, see "laid off", below), and it was helpful and actually, uhm... fun. Good to get out of the house in something other than plaid PJ bottoms or my husband's sweat pants.

I had to get up at 6:30, jump in the shower, feed the dogs, feed the cat, make coffee, pack the husband's lunch, shake him awake, and then hurl myself into rush hour with the rest of the world with my VW "We Need Drivers" coffee mug in hand.

Yeah, okay? I'd rather be sleeping. There is a certain part of me, when not weeping, letting the dogs in and out and in and out and FEEDING THE GODDAMN SCREAMING CAT (who is apparently going for an Enquirer cover story for The World's Fattest Oldest Most Annoying Cat In the World), gnashing my teeth in general frustration and boredom, and bothering my friends who still have jobs, that has become accustomed to, and perhaps even enjoying, NOT working.

Ahem.

Okay so really, maybe I just like not having to get started -- I mean truly started -- until something like 9:30am as opposed to 6:30am. Otherwise, getting out of the house was divine.

In any case, it was a good day. I actually felt like I earned my cocktail.

Which I'm having right now.

Cheers!

Okay, here's the deal.

I've been In Limbo for quite some time for a variety of reasons. My first blog on this site sums it up -- it's been a tough year for me and I simply arrived at an Anti-Nirvana where writing anything was so fraught with Oh-Woe-Is-Me, poorly written prose that even I became deeply bored with myself.

Since that entry, I have, in fact, lost my job.

In September I was part of a fairly substantial Reduction in Work Force (I'm told I'm not supposed to say I was "laid off", because that implies that I was Fired With Benefits, which I kinda was, but who's counting?).

So on top of All The Other Sh*t I went through this year (which I'm sure I will enumerate for you at some point), this was added to the pile and I've decided that blogging might actually be a cathartic measure to get through it.

For so long I struggled with blogging because I thought every entry had to be autonomous, anonymous, not unkind to others, but above all, funny.

Well, I'm just giving you a heads up it won't all be funny. Right now I'm so deeply in a state of self-pity that Denial is even begging for a back stage pass. Front and center is the Me That Feels Sorry For Myself, and I'm belting out every Rejection song known to man, and if you're lucky, you lost your tickets. If not, buckle your seatbelts and get ready for a lot of Alanis, Journey, and Barry Manilow.

I feel like I've lost some Blog Buddies -- a couple of whom I really miss. You know who you are and I'm sure I'll hear from you. I'm back, just slightly bruised and battered, but I'm back. I thank you for your surprise "cheer up, gurl!" gifts and phone calls -- I hope we reconnect.

I also feel like I've lost a lot of Work Buddies, only a few of whom I will miss. When you lose a job I think you are lucky if you walk away with 2-3 really good friends with whom you will never lose contact. I have two, and feel lucky for both of them. You know who you are. There are others with whom I will stay in touch, but not to the degree that I will Midge and D. They are, truly, Forever Friends. Thank you both for listening, cajoling, supporting, and buying rounds when I need them. I love you man!

I'll write more about Losing Your Job later, but for now, I wanted to get this out there. Because I do intend to start blogging again, because I think I need to.

Unlike before, however, I won't worry about comments and who reads me. I won't feel the pressure to Be Funny with every blog. I won't feel the pressure to write every day.

Instead, this will be, finally and for now, for me.

Me, me, me.

For now, it's all about me.

Enough about me. How are YOU?

(I never said I didn't want comments!)